In class, we read Thirst, and our task was to make up our own ending to the story.
I think I have done the following well: Figurative language, show not tell, and interesting sentence types.
Something I still need to work on: Make my sentences more descriptive and accurate to make sense.
Ryder ran to the nearest tree deeper into the darkness, he didn’t want his father to find him because he knew what was coming for him. dad shouted once more. His voice rumbled through the trees with displeasure, scattering the birds that had been perched at the cans quenching their thirst. Greed, jealousy,disappointed-what is Ryder going to do?
‘‘Ryder come here NOW, I'm gonna find you know matter what, Ryder heard his dad’s voice terrified, he froze instantly and fear gripped his heart. ‘‘What should I do, where should I go?’’ The more Ryder sprinted like a jaguar, the more he ran out of breath.
Ryder had finally decided to come out of the darkness all scuffed up, make a choice and go home. It was late at night Ryder went sneaking around the house it had been two and a half days now. Brooke was petrified cause it was late at night. ‘‘Do you think dad will forgive me? His tummy rumbled with starvation Ryder swallowed deep as he approached the door fear seeped through his skin, Ryder cautiously slowly opened the door creeeaaaakkk he tried to sneak in without getting caught, he had made it in, his dad sat on the old crusty brown shredded couch asleep. Pffft I knew dad wouldn’t look for me for that long. I know him too well.
Early in the morning his mother had woken up and heard a noise coming from Ryder's room. She looked through the little gap in the door and she saw Ryder, SMACK! Mum fell through the door. “Ryder your home” mum said with excitement and joy. But Ryder's dad was on the other side of them. He got up as soon as he heard Ryder's name ‘‘ WHERE is that little thief Ryder get here now’’. Ryder came out of his room with his head down. ‘‘ WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? ‘‘ What gave you the idea to steal water that is not ours’’? ‘‘Ryder you know that were are not allowed to use the water. From now on you will not touch the water and you will need to go apologize to the Carters for stealing their water everyone had hugged it out and dad forgave Ryder.
‘‘Ryder come here NOW, I'm gonna find you know matter what, Ryder heard his dad’s voice terrified, he froze instantly and fear gripped his heart. ‘‘What should I do, where should I go?’’ The more Ryder sprinted like a jaguar, the more he ran out of breath.
Ryder had finally decided to come out of the darkness all scuffed up, make a choice and go home. It was late at night Ryder went sneaking around the house it had been two and a half days now. Brooke was petrified cause it was late at night. ‘‘Do you think dad will forgive me? His tummy rumbled with starvation Ryder swallowed deep as he approached the door fear seeped through his skin, Ryder cautiously slowly opened the door creeeaaaakkk he tried to sneak in without getting caught, he had made it in, his dad sat on the old crusty brown shredded couch asleep. Pffft I knew dad wouldn’t look for me for that long. I know him too well.
Early in the morning his mother had woken up and heard a noise coming from Ryder's room. She looked through the little gap in the door and she saw Ryder, SMACK! Mum fell through the door. “Ryder your home” mum said with excitement and joy. But Ryder's dad was on the other side of them. He got up as soon as he heard Ryder's name ‘‘ WHERE is that little thief Ryder get here now’’. Ryder came out of his room with his head down. ‘‘ WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? ‘‘ What gave you the idea to steal water that is not ours’’? ‘‘Ryder you know that were are not allowed to use the water. From now on you will not touch the water and you will need to go apologize to the Carters for stealing their water everyone had hugged it out and dad forgave Ryder.
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